Methods & Techniques
Over the years I have deliberately chosen to specialise on a few methods and techniques out of the vast number that are available in my field. They are ways of thinking that have shaped me as a person and as a professional. And they have become tools that enable me to work with development questions at the deeper levels of consciousness.
Systemic Work is an approach, a method that helps us to see how it is and how it was in our family-system and how this shaped us as the person we are today. It goes beyond the levels of skills and behaviour, straight to the deepest layers of our awareness. Where our youngest memories lie, where our identity emerged. And, built on what was already there before we were born.
In the Systemic Work course I learned to see development questions from a systemic perspective. This lens allows me to see the dynamics in your family of origin (family system) and how you unknowingly bring those dynamics into your work (task system). Well-functioning systems are characterised by a number of universal laws or ordering principles. When these principles are disrupted, it affects the individual members of a system, often in subsequent generations as well. Through a constellation and other systemic interventions I have learned to visualise disturbed loyalties and dynamics, as well as the recovery movements.
Since completing the training, I look at myself and the people around me with a broader, systemic view and I can work with growth and development around deep-rooted patterns at the identity level.
Voice Dialogue is another method aimed at development and growth at identity level. This approach makes it possible to let inner voices - your sub-personalities - speak. When some of these voices are too loud and others too soft, there is an imbalance that can bother you. Think of a dominant Perfectionist, a Pleaser or a Pusher who makes you do things that you really don't want to (anymore). Things that (used to) lead to lots of good, but that often cost you tons of energy.
Voice Dialogue makes it possible to make the origin of these voices, their thoughts, feelings, needs, their strategies audible. It also helps you discover the voices that can counterbalance this. This method teaches you to listen to all sides of yourself and to have more control over it. That gives you more freedom of choice, increases your ability to deal with vulnerability and brings more self-acceptance.
Non Violent Communication
Nonviolent Communication is a way of communication that sees empathy as a common thread to connect with each other and with yourself. I was introduced to NVC in the early nineties and since then it has become increasingly clear to me how judgmental and thus how violent we tend to communicate with others and ourselves. We do this in four ways:
I'm not OK, you're not OK
I'm not OK, you are OK
I'm OK, you're not OK
I'm OK, you are OK
The first three ways remove people from each other and / or from themselves. Only the fourth variant enables sustainable connection, thanks to communication from compassion.
Marshall Rosenberg, the founder of this philosophy, taught me that judgments are expressions of unmet needs. These unmet needs lead to negative feelings, which in turn lead to energy loss. By learning to let go of judgment and replace it with caring for unmet needs, you don't just build connection. It also stops the negative feelings and thus the energy loss.
This relates to a large part of the coaching questions that people ask me, which is why I often use this approach.
The Birkman Method is a self-assessment tool. Based on your answers to an extensive, unpredictable, online questionnaire, it becomes very clear what your usual behavior is , your needs and the causes of stress. Your personality traits are discussed in depth. What is special about the method is that it also reflects your assumptions and expectations. It also offers insight into your motivation and incentives. Through this method you learn to understand why you react as you do and you gain insight into patterns that promote or hinder effective behaviour. You discover the keys to your own energy management.
There are many instruments that measure psychological behaviour. As a coach and trainer I have consciously chosen and work exclusively with Birkman because:
the results are scientifically valid and reliable
it is the only instrument that measures what you need from your environment to get the most out of yourself
the modifiability of the results is extremely low because socially desirable answers cannot be given
the report has a very high level of detail
the results are presented objectively, without value judgment.
The Birkman method has been used successfully in development and change processes for almost seventy years. Five million people worldwide in countless organisations on six continents now have a Birkman report. The questionnaires and reports are available in sixteen languages.